The Cycle of Perfectionism and Procrastination - And How To Change It

Perfectionism and procrastination. There’s a rare breed of humans who don’t struggle with this cycle!

On behalf of everyone who does, we envy you and we congratulate you on your lack of struggle in this department, because let me tell you it's not something I would wish upon anyone.

This blog is for the rest of us!

I have struggled for the majority, if not all of my life, trying to find the answers to the incredibly difficult question of WHY do I procrastinate? You and I both know that all it takes is to break everything up into small bite-size pieces, then we can get it done over time. It should be simple.

So, let’s look at some tools that will help change this cycle once and for all, and set you free so you can stop hiding and playing small.

The Crazy Eight Cycle

The first step to making any changes is to identify and name the problem.

perfectionism and procrastination interact with each other on a daily basis and create what I call the Crazy Eight Cycle of Perfectionism and Procrastination.

This is what it looks like:

You have the perfect goal. You know exactly what you want to do. You have a perfectly aligned dream and vision of your brand and message. You know what resources you’ll create. Your Instagram feed is going to look exactly so. And it’s all amazing. The picture of your perfect outcome is so clear. You’re so pumped!
You take the first step! It’s so exciting to see things start to happen. Your vision is coming to life. You put your perfect vision out there and start making those Instagram posts, but then...
You realize you don’t know how to do something. One of the resources is taking too long to make. Your logo is harder to design than you thought. Maybe it’s just harder to pick your fonts. There’s just something about all of this that isn’t going like you thought it would.
Self-doubt comes knocking. Your perfect vision was easy. This isn’t. Maybe something’s wrong. Maybe it’s you. Maybe you can’t do it, even though you want it more than anything in the world.
You hit the Pause button. You just kind of stop doing it. You need a little time. An hour or two maybe, that’s all.
Procrastination sets in. You’ll get to it later. Really, you will. Like next week, or after the holiday. Because you want it more than anything in the world, right?
Self-hatred rears its ugly head. You know you’re giving in to distractions. You look at that To Do list, and then check Instagram, or go hunt for that perfect font again. Why can’t you just make yourself do this? If you really wanted it, like you say you do, then you’d do it. What's wrong with me?!?
You quit that vision and wait for a new perfect vision. One that’s better. One that you can really do...

This crazy eight cycle just continues with any task that you commit to doing! Most people stop too early when they feel self-doubt. It’s a part of our survival system, which isn’t inherently bad, but we do want to find a way to make all of that work FOR us and not hold us back!

So, let’s look at where this survival system comes from and then some tips to stop this crazy eight cycle!

4 Reasons We Procrastinate

1. Childhood Programming

We often learn to be perfectionists or procrastinators, or both, before we hit the age of 7. As children, we're just learning things and getting downloads and literally getting programmed into what the world works like and what we need to be, or do or give or have in order to receive love and be safe. This is where we learn the most pervasive things that follow us throughout the rest of our lives.

This can happen from your parents saying something or punishing you or rewarding you for something that you did or didn't do. It can also be learned by modeling- watching something play out as an example.

For me, a lot of my childhood lessons came from watching how my older brother went through his life and what kind of responses he got from my parents or other authority figures in his life. Then I just replicated everything that he did to earn love.

And those lessons helped make me a people pleaser, a perfectionist, a procrastinator, and someone who was constantly looking for permission to move forward.

The good news is you can learn other lessons later in your life! Looking at and understanding my childhood programming has also helped me learn other things, so that I can be a strong leader now… who cares much less what anyone thinks of me!

To be able to recognize, and if needed, move past your childhood programming, start by thinking back to that time and figuring out what you were programmed to believe, do or think. Consider what values and messages were ingrained about:

Boundaries
Personal, family and even business values
How to act
What was needed to be accepted
What would result in being rejected

Also consider what was added through your educational upbringing. Often the lessons were that there were two outcomes- passing or failing. How did those lessons influence the way you looked at projects and classes then… and now.

As you think about your childhood programming, the goal is not to judge parents or the education system. You want to look at how it plays out in your life today. Even if there’s no punishment today for doing something wrong or not doing something perfectly, do you still put the pressure on yourself when you don't do things perfectly because of what you were taught?

2. Comparison

We often compare our internal state and way of being to the highlights of other people's lives. And our normal never stands up to someone else’s best.

When we do this, we’re living in a reality distortion field. Social media has been one of the most amazing gifts for us to express ourselves and to connect with one another, but it's also been one of the most detrimental things for seeing reality as it truly is.

In other words, if you are having a really bad day and you're not able to get anything done, so you start scrolling Instagram stories. You see someone who's posting all the things they did off their to-do list, how amazing they feel, and that they’re going to go out and have a drink and on and on. It makes you feel like, “Why can't I be like that?”

But what you can’t see on their story is that they had a mental breakdown last week and a fight with their boyfriend yesterday. Since today is a little better, they’re using social media as a way to advertise their highlights and lifestyle. But it’s not their normal, just like it’s not your normal

And this kind of comparison to other lives we can see is a natural survival system. The only way that we can measure where we're at in terms of status, safety and fitting in is by measuring ourselves to other people around us. In my opinion, it's not a problem to compare yourself. Like I said, it is a natural survival system. We need comparison to inspire us to become better.

When comparison is used to help us understand where we're doing something right and where we could continue going, it is helpful. But, when we only use it to see where we're falling short of who we actually want to be, and it is allowed to mutate into jealousy or self-judgement, then it is a problem. That’s when it becomes detrimental to our mental health and leads to the crazy eight cycle.

This does not mean you need to post all of your flaws on Instagram, but I think that it's up to us as individuals to take the responsibility not to compare ourselves to someone who's advertising this perfect lifestyle, this perfect highlight.

3. Hiding From Doubt and Insecurity

The simplest and most painful answer that often leads to procrastination and perfectionism is because it's a way of hiding. Perfectionism is a very cute and socially appropriate disguise for crippling insecurity.

When I realized that, it really hurt! Procrastination for me was too often because I was hiding from having to actually follow through. I’d waste me days scrolling on Instagram, cleaning my house, and doing so many other things that were not actually productive for me and my business goals.

But when I accepted that as truth, it also released me to acknowledge that and confront that insecurity so I could start doing the things that were important.

4. Really Clever Excuses

As people, we are so good at creating really clever excuses. It’s so pervasive, that it can be challenging to tell when we are creating excuses versus when we are actually stopped or blocked by something real.

The excuses can look like harmless explanations:

Something came up!
That didn’t get done because my dog threw up/my kid made a mess, and I had to clean it up.
I was just out of my flow.
I have to do this instead because I told someone I’d do it.
This will fit better tomorrow.

The challenge is to eliminate ALL of your excuses. Stop tricking yourself into believing that something is getting in your way! There's a lot that you can allow to get in your way, but you don’t actually have to.

Your golden ticket to getting to exactly where you want to be in life and who you want to be in life is burning all of the excuse bridges that keep you in hiding and “safe” and small.

The question is when are you gonna get sick of excuses and little reasons why and commit to doing away with all of them?

If you’re ready for that today, keep reading for some ways to help stop the crazy eight cycle of perfectionism and procrastination. This isn’t about just working harder. You are not lazy. There is nothing wrong with you. You're not alone. And this is something you can work with and absolutely ascend. I'm speaking from experience.

3 Tools to Overcome Procrastination

1. Real Accountability-

This needs to be your end goal. The thing that you invest your time and energy into creating right now. Real accountability is about what works best for you. It needs to be something you will be able to be consistent about.

In Thriving Teacher Academy, we often set up co-working dates or meetings. This is a dedicated one or two hours of uninterrupted work with a group or even just one other person, usually over Zoom. You’re not there to talk, but be there to hold each other accountable to working for a block of time and getting a specific project done during that time.

A few ways you can find an accountability buddy are:

Post on Instagram and say, “I'm looking for an accountability, buddy. Who's looking for this?”
Post in our Thriving Teachergram Facebook group asking for an accountability buddy

Having consistent accountability is the end goal, but you can start out with setting meetings on a project by project basis. There are so many of us who are so desperately starving for accountability right now, that it’s likely someone will leap on your request.

Another form of accountability is to put due dates on everything you do. Real due dates, not the kind that bend to excuses. Meeting that deadline will likely mean that you end up hating your first iteration of that project. That’s okay! You can fix them later once you have some real life feedback.

That's something that I learned the hard way. Many of the resources that I released into the public that I was least proud of and thought were least perfect are actually the highest converting things that I've ever done. Speed in implementation trump's perfection all day long! So, strive for the healthy pressure from real accountability to help you get things done and out there.

2. Sprint Sessions-

This technique is also called the pomodoro technique, and it’s actually quite simple. Here’s what it looks like:

Work for 20 minutes, completely uninterrupted. You just go, go, go.
Stop at exactly 20 minutes.
Take five minutes off. No distractions, social media or stimulation. Do whatever you need to completely disengage from the screen- sit, walk, drink water, breathe. 5 minutes.
Repeat!

After a couple of these sprint sessions, your productivity will skyrocket because you’re not only training your brain to get into flow a lot faster, plus you're giving yourself an out.

Knowing you have that five minute break coming after only 20 minutes helps you stay motivated during your sprint session.

If you’re trying to make a huge goal of a 3-hour session, you’re so much more likely to resist that, especially if you’re right in the middle of the crazy eight cycle. But just 20 minutes? Get through one or two things on my list? That sidesteps the resistance in your brain. It’s an achievable goal. And then you can look at the next one or two things in the next 20 minutes.

Plus, those built in five minute breaks are a really healthy way to operate. We’re not made for 3-hour uninterrupted sessions!

You’ll also find that tasks often take as long as you give them to get done. If you give a project eight hours, then it’ll take eight hours. But if you break it down into tasks that can be done in 20 minutes, then that task will take you 20 minutes.

This restricts the amount of time you have to overthink or to get distracted. It helps keep you moving through your to-do list as you intend, and helps eliminate distractions, overwhelm and burnout.

So a sprint sessions, 20 minutes on five minutes off, for 3 or 4 rounds of those, is going to be your best bet.

3. Low Information Diet-

If you are in a procrastination and distraction phase where you are constantly scrolling, consuming or trying to learn something new to distract yourself from actually working and doing, a Low Information Diet is a reset to help break out of that phase productively. This means restricting your screen time and the amount that you consume content.

It’s easy to think that passively scrolling is a relaxing and low energy activity, but passively scrolling still means that your brain is working to articulate, understand, digest and assimilate everything see into comparisons, judgments, beliefs, systems, and values. In other words, it’s still processing on overload!

A Low Information Diet lets you be honest with yourself and restrict your consumption time to only those things that are truly productive.

Typically, as you cut down on “passive” consumption with this practice, you’ll notice how your dopamine response changes dramatically. You feel calmer and more in flow. It’s easier to create when you're not overloaded with consumption. Dizzy Drake sums this one up perfectly… “You spending too much time on captions and not enough on actions.” Thank you, Drake!

The Crazy Eight Cycle can be broken, and left far in the rearview mirror, with these practices. And, the sooner you start, the sooner you can change from that childhood programming and leave those excuses behind!

So, get out there, and do the damn thing!

And if you need any other support, I'm here for you and I'm cheering you on. I'm in your corner. You can do this. I believe in you.